Photography by Natalie Lynn
I know that is not long or something that is a big celebration, but shouldn't it be? Unfortunately in this day and age some people barely make it six months or a year. I think we should celebrate the win of having a good healthy marriage.
There are always people giving advice to engaged or newlyweds on how to make a marriage work. My husband and I were told on many occasions, "the first year is the hardest" or "you really don't know each other til you live together" or "you will argue about your partners quirks that you used to think were cute". Those statements became real fears for me, I would tell Carl we have to really communicate I don't want to fight all the time. When finally he told me "That isn't us! You have to stop letting people put fear on you or our marriage. We communicate well, know each other and we will have a good first year". So here is my advice; everyone has a different relationship style. You can not blanket all newlyweds with fear of failure neither can you expect it to be paradise. Love each other as best as you can. Listen, respond with grace and forgive entirely.
Our six months of marriage have been a dream. We love each other more, accept each other more, respect each other more, understand each other more, I could go on and on. Don't get me wrong we still have disagreements, get on each others nerves but we have learned how to navigate those moments with each other with a lot of grace. Carl and I were just discussing why we have had an easier time than others have? We nailed it down to three important things 1. Communication 2. Letting the other be themselves and 3. Having mentors. We are so thankful for having a great couple to mentor us, they have been married for twenty plus years. They have lived in the honeymoon phase, the hard phases, kids and all the ups and downs that marriage is. We actually met with them for six weeks before we got married and went through a book called "Seriously dating or Engaged" by Dr.Roger Tirabassi. It is rad and I encourage couples to go through it!! It addresses several important topics from finances to resolving conflict to parenting. It highlighted our weaknesses and strengths, gave us solutions, practical tools etc to help navigate our individuality within our unified marriage.
"Be completely humble and gentle; Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace."- Ephesians 4:2-3
I am a huge fan of letting men be men! What I mean by that is, that it is natural for men to be the master of the house, lead their families, make the final decisions on important matters etc. In doing that we honor them in being the man that God made them to be. I believe women who do those things (amongst others) are highly respected by their husbands and more so treated as an equal partner. I don't want that to come across as husbands should dominate their wives. It is about letting your husband do what he was made to do. Being married means being a unified team. Wives have such an important role, we are what keeps it all together and working. I joke all the time about the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding, "the man is the head but the woman is the neck. The neck turns the head".
"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself." Ephesians 5:22-33
Though it may be just a handful of months we chose to simply recognize this small landmark in a lifetime commitment, being happily married for six months. On October 5th we slept in late, and after all our morning silliness finally got our butts up and dressed. There are some amazing hiking trails in Laguna Beach, we love a particular trail which is marked by Alta Laguna park. The park leads to the trail head which then leads you to a lot of trails varying from easy to extreme. It was a stunning day we could see Catalina Island as clear as day surrounded by the gorgeous deep blue ocean. I wouldn't quite go as far to say we hiked because we basically walked for 20 minutes and then said it's too hot and I am starving (fastest hike ever!). Okay, if you haven't been to Roses Bakery Cafe then basically your life sucks (sorry but it's true). You are missing out!!! It is in Corona Del Mar right on PCH, you can't miss it. They have delicious breakfast burritos, Pancakes, Donuts, and Good coffee with free refills (hello...all the coffee you want. I told you it's the best). Carl and I always stick to our favourite the California burrito, I get a coffee and he gets some OJ. Down on the CDM cliff edge there are two benches and before we got married (before we were even dating) Carl brought me down to Roses to get burritos then we came and sat on those benches. It was a gorgeous morning, cold, sunny and a clear beautiful view of the calm morning ocean (so romantic, he is a master pursuer). Anyways, it has now become our tradition to come down, sit on our bench and enjoy sweet moments together there. As well as getting mad at people who are in our spot, we stand at a distance whispering "get off our bench", eventually getting our way and feeling triumphant when in reality they moved on their own accord. That was it, a simple adventure that celebrated our commitment we made six months ago.
And they lived happily ever after!
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