Heartfelt

The last few weeks have been very heavy hearted within my community with feelings of loss, frustrations, anger, sorrow and confusion. All these emotions taken from varying situations from death to unmet expectations. It is in times like these where our faith is tested. Our biggest question to God is "Why?" The question that can never be answered is the one we cling to. 

At our church we have a young adult service once a month called RISE, where our community of young people from high schoolers, college students and young adults up to the age of 30 gather together. We eat treats, drink coffee, worship, play ridiculous games, listen to a teaching and then have a time that we call 'response'. 

Our last RISE happened to fall right after a tragedy in our community. One of my best friends, Wes,  who also happens to be the young adult pastor taught that night. Whether or not intentionally hitting on the subject of grief, he challenged us in the moments of 'response' to wait on God. Asking God to remind us of a time where we were grieving and where He met us and how. I grew up in the church, my dad was a pastor, so I know the drill. I realized in those moments that I doubted God to actually show up . I prayed, waited, got distracted, doubted, re-engaged and prayed again, waited, got distracted and then...before I knew it I was thinking about the Psalms.  

The Psalms in the bible teach us how to pray, but also offer such real tangible accounts of people in pain and happiness. I remember a time where I didn't know how I was going to fix my brokenness and a friend of mine challenged me to read through the Psalms. I was not in the mind set to do anything more than simply read one chapter a day, that was it. Skeptically I began to read through one chapter at a time. It took a good while to get through the whole book but by the end I realized that I was no longer hurting, that I had come through it. What the Psalms did for me was let me process through all my emotions. They validated me in some of my questions to God. Each chapter I read became my prayers, unable to articulate my thoughts or feelings towards God. Each word formed into prayers, secretly restoring my faith and bringing complete healing.

So today I begin to read through those Psalms again, not because I need the same type of restoration but as a simple reminder that although we don't always find the answer to our "Why," He is with us and is for us. We always hear the phrase "what doesn't kill us will only make us stronger," well I believe that though it isn't always easy, it is true.The response time has now become a very special time for me, where I sit in God's presence, uninterrupted able to have an intentional moment where I am reminded of his faithfulness to me and to others.

Be blessed friends.

Psalm 138 

I give you thanks, O LORD! All the kings of the earth will praise you. Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life.